Ways With Words

“What a Good Boy Am I”

 In parts of Italy a birth is celebrated by decorating a tree in the garden so it felt appropriate and joyful to decorate our redundant plum tree in the orchard to celebrate Theo’s birth. The Ways With Words’ office staff spent their lunch hour hanging flowers, a letter T, hagstones from Suffolk beach and toys on the tree. It was a welcome break from manning the busy Southwold festival box-office. Most prominent is a painted wooden hen hanging from a high branch that Theo’s mother Chloë made when she was about twelve. Now we have a colourful Theo tree in the orchard in August which seems even better than a Christmas tree in the living room in December. “Unto us a boy is born” indeed.

The tradition is that the tree remains decorated for a year. During that time we shall plant a new plum tree specially for Theo. I hope the plums will appear just when he is old enough for plum crumble or curds and whey so that he can put in his thumb and pull out a plum. What a good boy he is to bring such love and fun into all our lives.

THEO – the baby philosopher

The day before my first grandchild was born I read a review in The Guardian of a book called 'The Philosophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us about Truth, Love and the Meaning of Life', by an American professor of psychology, Alison Gopnik. A short time afterwards when I held the 15 hour old Theodore Isaac I thought how true it was; I was looking into the eyes of a philosopher. He stared at me with such comprehension. He seemed to be saying, “I know all about you and despite all your faults and failings I love you.” 

Alison Gopnik says that babies are “smarter, more imaginative, more caring and even more conscious that adults.” Instinctively we already knew this and it is his imagination and consciousness that makes us want to protect Theo. We want him to feel the world is a good place and that people are worthy of his trust. In return we think he will improve us. We shall become more optimistic, creative, thoughtful adults.

According to the author caring for children means you experience a little saintliness. So just call Theo’s parents, St. Chloe and St. Videl, and all his adoring family and friends are hoping for beatification too.

My New Role As Fairy Grandmother

These are strange days for us all. The new grandson is due in 2 days time – Monday 3 August and we are all very impatient. Surely he will want to see this beautiful, busy world as soon as possible? At present he is playing it cool and staying where he is. He’s less eager to meet us than we are to meet him. My lovely daughter Chloe has been again to the midwife. Apparently he has stuck his feet in her ribcage – uncomfortable but that’s where he likes it for the moment.

Maybe we should just wait patiently; there’s no rush. I know for certain that after his birth life will change irrevocably for us all; most of all for Chloe and Videl but for all their family and friends too. BBB (as we call him: Baby Boy BarKar) will become a large presence in all our lives and so far we know very little about him.

As grandmother to a first grandchild I’m poised for a new role, but what shall it be? If I were a fairy godmother what would I wish for him? Obviously I’d want him to have good, robust, physical, emotional and mental health but after that? I hope he will grow up kind and empathetic, able to understand other people’s lives, their troubles and dreams. He is starting an exciting, fascinating, life journey; I hope he loves every bit of the way: so many ideas to consider, so much music to listen to, places to see, people to know. Life is complex and I hope eventually he will cope well with the complexity and not seek simple solutions. All this with loads of laughter and fun. Oh for a magic wand.

I don’t have a wand but I’ve decided my role will be as The Book Grannie. So much can be learnt through books and I hope he enjoys books from the start. His ability to see other people’s points of view, to mull over ideas, to tolerate uncertainty, to dream, to consider the vast opportunities life offers and make considered choices and just to have fun with words and pictures can come if books are a big part of his life from the start. I’ll be there reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ soon and giving him Virginia Woolf later.

However now we are on holiday in Southwold and when he is born I shall go to one of the beach huts by the sea and get his Southwold kit for future visits: bucket and spade – of course, a windmill, a crab line. I can see I shall have many roles but I’m taking my Book Grannie role very seriously.

Come on BBB! I’ve got your first book and even Southwold is waiting for you.